Rock Lee VS The Sun!
by MetaKnightsGirl
Summary: What happens when Rock Lee challenges the sun? Only blowing up your neighbor's house, flushing Neji's hair down the toilet, an alarm clock's funeral, and lots of crashing through walls!
1. Chapter 1

The Happenings of Rock Lee

Chapter 0ne-Challenging the Sun

The wind blew my beautiful black hair as I trained with my sensei, Might Guy, We fought vigorously until the end of the day. We smiled at each other, doing the graceful Nice Guy Pose. Then we went to rest. We sat on a nearby rock, which was large with jagged edges, and watched the beautiful sunset.  
"Guy sensei?" I said to my wonderful teacher.  
"Yes, Rock Lee?" he answered.  
"You're the best teacher ever!" I cried, tears of joy streaming down my face.  
"And you're the best student ever!" he replied, tears streaming down his face. He looked at me with a smile on his face. "Lee!" he cried. Then we both hugged youthfully as the sun set over the horizon.  
"Okay, Lee, I'm afraid we must end this hug of youth, for it is time for you to go home," Guy sensei said in despair.  
"Yes," I agreed with a sob.  
So Guy sensei started to walk me home.  
XxX xXx XxX  
The sun's youthful rays smacked me in the face the next morning. I groaned and told those youthful rays, "Youthful rays of the sun, why do you bother me so?" When the sun didn't reply, I began to get irritated. I threw the covers off myself and stomped to the window. I glared at the sun (which was kind of hard because its rays of youth were blinding and damaging my gorgeous eyes and eyelashes, but I decided to do it anyways) and started to shout at it.  
"Youthful rays of the sun, why do you deceive me by disturbing my beauty sleep?!" I questioned the sun. The sun's rays just continued to smack me in the face, ignoring my question completely.  
Rage filled me from head to toe. "That's it!" I shouted. "I, Rock Lee, challenge you, sun, to a fight!"  
The sun just stayed silent, moved by the beauty of my youthful words. "We shall meet at Neji's house at noon!" I declared. With that, I pulled the curtain over my window, and went back to sleep.  
BIBIP! BIBIP! Only seconds later, my alarm clock that had a picture of Guy sensei on it went off. I groaned and threw it out the window. I realized that I had to practice for my math today at noon with the sun! So I went downstairs and ate breakfast.  
That's when I remembered that my alarm clock was very important and I had just thrown it out the window.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed in agony. I rushed outside and gasped when I saw my alarm clock. It was broken into little pieces that were scattered all over the place. I picked all the pieces and cradled them in my arms. I began to shed tears.  
"You poor thing!" I wept. I gently placed on a patch of dirt and dashed into my house. I grabbed a shovel, a piece of gray clay, and a toothpick. Then I  
hurried back outside. I pushed my shovel into the dirt and began to dig. I had dug for what seemed like decades (though it was really minutes) and then finally, I had hole that was six feet deep and 1 and a half feet in diameter. I picked up each piece of my breathtaking alarm clock with Guy sensei's picture on it, and dropped them into the hole.  
I filled the hole, replacing the dirt I had dug out from the Earth. Then I took my piece of clay and molded it into a shape that looked like half a circle. Using the toothpick, I carved some writing onto the clay. It read:  
R.I.P.  
(Rest In Peace)  
ALARM CLOCK  
The Day Guy Sensei Gave It to Me - The Day I Challenged the Sun to a Fight  
This youthful clock died because it had been thrown out the window by someone stupid (not me).  
I placed this piece of clay on the patch of dirt that my alarm clock now lay under. There. I had given my alarm clock a propel funeral. Good bye, alarm clock! Rest in peace, old friend!  
Well, now that that's over, I had to get to Neji's house fast! My scheduled duel with the sun who had mocked me would begin any minute now! It was almost noon. I looked up at the sky overhead. The sun was right above Neji's house! I was late for the battle that I scheduled! How ridiculous!  
I skipped the skip of youth, then initiated running to Neji's house at top speed. I had to beat the sun!  
In a matter of moments, I had reached Neji's house. I ignored the doorbell and the door and just crashed in through the wall. "I, Rock Lee, am here to challenge my worst enemy!" I shouted.  
I saw Neji, TenTen, and Hinata sitting on the couch watching T.V. They looked shocked. "LEE?!" TenTen yelled out in shock. She was making a funny face. Hinata looked confused as well.  
"Um, Lee, why did you come in through the wall?" she asked with that soft, gentle voice of hers.  
"Yes, Lee, you ever heard of a thing called a 'door'?" Neji asked, impatient with my behavior.  
"I ignored it!" I answered defiantly.  
Neji, TenTen, and Hinata stared at me as if I was the stupidest thing in the world (which, I must assure you, I'm not). Neji stood up and pointed an accusing finger at me. "You idiot! You interrupted our movie!" he shouted.  
"But I am here to battle my greatest enemy!" I cried.  
"So why isn't Guy sensei here?" asked TenTen.  
Just at that moment, the whole entire opposite wall to the wall I crashed in through broke down. Guy sensei had come! Look at that beautiful bowl haircut! Look at those gorgeous bushy eyebrows! Look at that handsome gay (Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GAY! ) green jumpsuit of youth! And that graceful pose! Don't forget that graceful pose! The Nice Guy Pose!  
"Guy sensei! You have come!" I hollered in happiness.  
"Of course I have, Lee!" he answered. "So, who is this fierce opponent of yours?"  
"Naruto?" asked Hinata.  
"Gaara?" wondered TenTen.  
"It's probably me," said Neji in his narcissist-y voice.  
"NO!" I screamed. "IT IS THE SUN!"  
Neji, TenTen and Hinata fainted from being awed by my words! And Guy sensei said, "What a formidable opponent! We shall battle it together!"  
Neji woke up from his unconscious state. He bellowed, "YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE TO BATTLE THE SUN?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Neji stomped up to Guy sensei and yelled, "AND YOU! YOU BROKE MY DAMN WALL! WE HAVE A THING CALLED A 'DOOR', YOU KNOW! NOW GO FIX IT!"  
Guy sensei and I ignored that blind fool and went outside (through the wall of course. I mean, who uses doors anymore?!). We looked up at our adversary, and gave it the wink of youth! Then we jumped to the roof of Neji's house, ready for combat.


	2. Chapter 2

THE HAPPENINGS OF ROCK LEE

Chapter Two – Neji Unluckiness

I glared at my opponent for a while until Guy sensei said, "Ready…set…BEGIN BATTLE!" I instantly jumped off of Neji's roof, doing a scissor kick toward the sun so I could attack my enemy and all its allies, the clouds. BUT I MISSED! I never felt myself hit something, and I never heard the cracking sound that usually followed the feeling. Instead, I plunged into a big bush full of thorns and felt the thorns pierce into my youthful buttocks. "YEEEEOOWWWCH!" I cried as the pain shot from my buttocks throughout my whole entire back. THE SUN HAD DODGED MY ATTACK!  
"Lee!" Guy sensei cried in horror. He was pained to see me in misery! What a great sensei. Or so I thought before he said, "Lee! How dare you fall into a thorn bush on your ass when we have an opponent to defeat?! You green idiot! Come back up here with style and youthfulness!" He had his hands on his hips in a womanly way. How beautiful! He was releasing his feminine side! (a/n: He has a feminine side?! WTF?!)  
I groaned and did a youthful back flip in the air and noisily landed on the roof of Neji's house, breaking tiles and sending them showering down on Neji's head. "OOOWWW!" I heard from beneath me, but I chose to ignore it. Guy sensei looked at me proudly. "What a beautiful come-back-entrance! And so clever! Hitting Neji with the tiles! Bwa ha ha!" (a/n: Would he say that?)  
I looked at Guy sensei. My sensei, sensing my confusion, looked down at me and asked, "What is wrong, Lee?" I replied, "I didn't purposely make the tiles hit Neji, Guy sensei." He just looked at me for a few seconds of youth, then started throwing a fit. "WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU GREEN FOOL?!"  
"But you're green too, sens—"  
"AND ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE TRICKING ME INTO BELIEVING THAT YOU WERE CLEVER! YOU GREEN INBECILE!"  
"But I never said that I was going to hit Neji with the—"  
"SILENCE, YOU PATHETIC-LOOKING, GREEN FOOL!"  
"But I look like you, so that would mean that you're also pathetic-loo—"  
"ENOUGH! I CANNOT BEAR ANYMORE TRICKERY AND FOOLISHNESS FROM A GREEN MORON LIKE YOU!" Guy sensei hollered. I stared at him, shocked. He had never acted this way before. That's when I noticed that the sun was dipping lower in the sky. It was heading down toward me for its final attack before it set! I had to defeat it before it left and the moon took its place.  
"I'm sorry, Guy sensei," I told Guy sensei, "but I must conquer the sun!" Guy sensei looked at me youthfully. "Yes," he agreed with tears in his eyes as the scenery suddenly changed to a waterfall reflecting the last rays of the despicable sun as it set over the horizon, making the sky look pink and orange. In reality, it had just started raining and buckets of water were pouring onto Neji from the holes that were created when I broke the tiles on Neji's roof. I could've sworn that Neji had just flipped me the bird, but why would he do that? It's not as if I had broken the tiles on his roof, and then it started to rain and buckets of water poured down the holes that were made from the missing tiles and onto Neji's head.  
Guy sensei gasped. "What is it, Guy sensei?" I asked dramatically. "Our foe has run away from us, and now we may never find it again!" he answered just as youthfully. I gasped in horror. He was right! The sun had run away as its allies, the clouds, covered up for it! I was flabbergasted. (a/n: I find the word flabbergasted funny sounding. Don't you?)  
I looked down at my feet, disappointed, devastated, upset, saddened, let down, displeased, offended, frustrated, dissatisfied, disillusioned,—

Metaknightsgirl: (playfully slaps Lee) We get the point!  
Lee: (eyes filled with tears) OK! Thank you for that youthful slap!

Metaknightsgirl: …  
Lee: My spirits are youthfully high again!

Metaknightsgirl: Yea, whatever, just shut up and let's go on with the story.  
Lee: YES! LETS! (tears streaming down face with happiness…I think)

Metaknightsgirl: I though he was disappointed a second ago…

I went back into Neji's house. TenTen had left a few minutes ago, and Neji and Hinata were going to bed. A very pissed off Neji stomped into his room and threw himself on his bed. Hinata's dad had blamed Neji for all the youthful damage I caused.  
Flashback  
I did a youthful back flip in the air and noisily landed on the roof of Neji's house, breaking tiles and sending them showering down on Neji's head. "OOOWWW!" I heard from beneath me, but I chose to ignore it. Gai-sensei looked at me proudly. "What a beautiful come-back-entrance! And so clever! Hitting Neji with the tiles! Bwa ha ha!"  
Meanwhile, underneath me, Neji was trying to escape from all the tiles that held him down. He groaned and glared at Hinata and TenTen who were just standing there watching him suffer.  
"What're you just standing there and watching me suffer for?" Neji demanded. "Help me!"  
TenTen replied, "Oh, right, sorry Neji." She and Hinata started to giggle as they walked over to Neji and helped him up. That's when Hinata's dad entered the room and saw all the damage that I had caused. He immediately turned to Neji.  
"What're you looking at me for? I didn't do it!" exclaimed Neji.  
Hinata's dad replied, "That's what you said last week when YOU made the toilet overflow!" Neji looked away, embarrassed.  
"Okay, maybe it was a dumb idea to flush high-heels down the toilet, but-"  
"A dumb idea? That's an understatement, fool! That idea was the stupidest thing you have ever done!" Hiashi hollered.  
"Well, what was I supposed to do? Grandma wanted me to wear them!" Neji shouted back. "And that's because she still thinks that I'm her "cute, pretty widdle grandDAUGHTER"! So she bought me pretty widdle girly high-heels!"  
Hiashi just stood there speechless.  
"Now, whose fault is that?!" Neji bellowed, glaring at Hiashi and waiting for an answer. "I definitely know that I ain't the one that told grandma that I was a girl when she first saw me!"  
Hiashi looked agitated. "Well, I couldn't tell her that you were a boy after 13 years!"  
"You could've told her told her 13 years earlier when she first met me! And she'll be even madder if she finds out even later, so you better tell her the next time she comes!"  
Hiashi looked at Neji with a shocked expression on his face. "Is that an attitude, young woman?!"  
"I'm a man!" Neji cried.  
"Oh right, sorry," Hiashi apologized. He then pushed the sleeves of his kimono up to his elbows and got into a fighting stance. "Neji, I should've done this a LONG time ago, but your grandma wouldn't let me. It's a good thing she moved out last week!" With that, he charged at Neji with his fist flailing around in the air.  
"Wh-What?!" Neji sputtered just before his uncle smashed his fist into the poor boy's face, sending him flying backwards. He landed on the rubble that was once part of the ceiling.  
"I'm sorry, Guy sensei," I told Guy sensei, "but I must conquer the sun!" Guy sensei looked at me youthfully. "Yes," he agreed with tears in his eyes as the scenery suddenly changed to a waterfall reflecting the last rays of the despicable sun as it set over the horizon, making the sky look pink and orange. In reality, it had just started raining and buckets of water were pouring onto Neji from the holes that were created when I broke the tiles on Neji's roof. I could've sworn that Neji had just flipped me the bird, but why would he do that? It's not as if I had broken the tiles on his roof, and then it started to rain and buckets of water poured down the holes that were made from the missing tiles and onto Neji's head.  
Neji stood up and gave Hiashi a death glare. He stomped up to him, his shoes squeaking on the ground, and screamed, "WHAT THE HELL?! LOOK WHAT YOU DID NOW, YOU DAMNED IDIOT!"  
"DON'T GIVE ME AN ATTITUDE, MISSY!"  
"I'M A FREAKIN' MAN, NOT A WOMAN!"  
"WELL, YOU'RE A WOMAN TO ME, SO DEAL WITH IT!"

Hiashi, still aggravated by his nephew, shouted, "Since you broke the ceiling and TWO walls, you're grounded for a year AND you have to use your own allowance to buy bullet proof walls!"  
"But that would use up all my money!" Neji protested. "Wait, why do they gotta be bulletproof? The walls that Rock Lee broke weren't bulletproof!"  
"Well, they were to me!" Hiashi declared." Now, go to your room!"  
"FINE!" Neji screamed in rage as he headed towards his bedroom.  
End of Flashback  
I youthfully crashed in through Neji's bedroom wall. Neji groaned and put his pillow over his head. That's when I noticed the bathroom inside Neji's room. My face lit up, and Neji mumbled "Don't even think about it, Lee" from underneath his pillow. "I'm sorry, Neji, but I must youthfully skip to your bathroom and youthfully relieve myself!"  
"Don't you dare," Neji warned, but I just did what I always did when Neji said something: I ignored him. As I began to skip, Hinata's little sister, Hanabi, passed by Neji's room then slowly walked back and stared at me. "Neji, why is there a stranger in your room skipping to your bathroom?" Neji shook his head and sighed. "Honestly, Hanabi, I don't got a clue." Hanabi shrugged and walked to her room which was right next door.  
I continued to youthfully skip to the bathroom, closed the door, and did my business. Then I flushed the youthful toilet and washed my hands with the youthful rubber-scented soap. (a/n: O.o Strange scented soap that Neji has there…) Then I decided to smash through the bathroom wall to see what was on the other side. And I did.  
When I entered the room next door, Hanabi screamed. "AAAHHH! A cereal killer! He's gonna kill Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes and Kix and Rice Crispies and—" Hanabi stopped when she saw me. She frowned and asked, "Aren't you Neji's gay friend?"  
"YES!" I cried with happiness. "YES, I AM NEJI'S FRIEND!"  
"No he's not," I heard Neji say from the other room.  
Hanabi continued to frown. "Why did you break my wall? We have doors, ya know." I looked down at her and flashed a youthful smile. "Oh, young one, doors are so outdated. In this era, we smash through walls!"  
"Riiiiiight…"answered Hanabi. That's when I got a brilliant idea. I walked through the broken wall and yanked the bathroom door off its hinges. I took it and threw it at the wall opposite the one I had crashed in through earlier. The wall exploded youthfully, sending debris flying through Hanabi's room's wall, through the bathroom, through the space that used to be Neji's bathroom door and into Neji's room, each sharp piece shooting into his face.  
Neji, who had just closed his eyes, immediately screamed as the debris pierced his skin and he rolled off his bed in the process, landing on the floor with a thud. Seeing that Neji was awake, I ran over to him and shouted happily, "Look, Neji, I finally found a good use for doors! They can smash walls so we don't have to do it ourselves!"  
"Lee, I swear to God…" Neji started to mutter under his breath when we all heard Hiashi yell from the living room downstairs.  
"NEJI, DID I JUST HEAR ANOTHER WALL BEING BROKEN?! AND A DOOR?!"  
"Uh…No! A bomb just…uh…blew up! Yeah! It blew up in the next door neighbor's yard!" Neji answered nervously.  
"NEJI! YOU BROKE ANOTHER WALL, DIDN'T YOU?! I DON'T SEE NO EXPLOSION OR FLAMES OR—"  
Hiashi stopped because Neji had just thrown a couple of exploding notes onto their neighbors' yard that blew up as their house went down in flames.  
"NEVER MIND, NEJI! I SEE IT NOW!"  
Neji sighed in relief and mumbled something like, "I'll fix the doors and walls tomorrow" and went to bed. I stared at his bed. It looked so youthfully comfortable! And I wanted it! So I walked over to Neji and threw him off the bed and toward a wall. He screamed like a girl as he ricocheted off the wall and flew into the bathroom, colliding into the wall some feet above the youthful toilet, upside down. He passed out, I think. He started to slide down slowly towards the toilet. When part of his hair was in the toilet bowl, I shouted, "Wait! I think I forgot to flush the toilet!" And so, I ran to the toilet and youthfully flushed it.  
Neji felt a hard tug at his hair and slowly opened his eyes. He looked up, or rather, down, since he was upside down and saw that his hair was being flushed down the toilet. And then he saw that I was the one flushing the toilet. Neji shrieked in horror and jumped off the wall and pulled his hair out of the toilet.  
He seemed mad at me, but I ignored him and jumped onto his bed. "Oh no you don't!" He screeched as he ran at me and grabbed my arms. He tried to pull me off his bed, but he couldn't. He stared at me disbelief. "Lee, did you gain, like, 150 pounds or did I get weaker?"  
"I'm absolutely fit!" I said with a "hmph". Then I showed him the weights on my legs. They were twenty times as heavy as the ones I wore at the Chuunin exams. Neji's mouth opened up so wide that a fly flew in and then he started to choke over it. He spat it out, disgusted.  
I closed my eyes and relaxed on Neji's youthful bed as he went downstairs and got a lawnmower. He came back upstairs and headed at me with it, but before he reached me, he slipped on a banana peel and flew up into the air. So did the lawnmower. When Neji fell back on the ground, the lawnmower grazed against his head, shaving half his hair off. Hanabi laughed her youthful butt off and I went to sleep.

The main story was made by Silver Curiosity. He is not on this site. I made a few minor details. Please give Silver Curiosity a hand!


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